Does the school have a "Meet the Teacher" night? Ours tend to do that a couple weeks after school starts. I've found that is often an excellent time, *not* to try and discuss my kid, but to secure a meeting to do so. I make sympathetic noises at the teacher that show I know they are undoubtedly finding my kid challenging already, and how can I help? If I frame it right, the teacher is practically asking me for a meeting and more info, rather than the other way around. No pushy parent!
Admittedly, this works because my 2E don't blend particularly well, and by week 2 teachers are inevitably thinking uh oh.....
So for me, the key is to be all about recognizing what challenges and weaknesses the teacher is already experiencing, and positioning myself as there to help. I always start from, "What can we do differently at home to better support what you expect them them to do in the classroom?", for instance. Or "How can we teach and reinforce the executive function skills/ organizational systems you expect the kids to use?"
Any suggestions for the teacher strategies I always frame as coming from her peers, not me. "His previous teachers have told me they find X really helpful..... They tried Y and Z, but Q always seemed to work best... e.g. he can manage his attention issues/ stay on track completing his work/ make fewer calculating errors/ produce written material more quickly... when the work is more complex. They find more challenging work is enormously helpful in keeping him going when he has to work through his disabilities...."
Obviously, this doesn't work so well with the compliant high achiever. At least, I would assume so - I personally wouldn't have a clue
