I can only weigh in with my personal experience with one child. However I can tell you finding the right psychotherapist made all the difference in the world for my DD. As she was crashing and burning coming out of first grade I located a 2E adult who was also the parent of a 2E child. She got DD immediately in our first phone conversation. In fact she said to me "She reminds me so much of myself I'm dyslexic but I went to Harvard." I realize that this is striking gold and that not everybody can locate someone like this. However it was truly life-changing for DD. This psychologist was able to explain to people in a way that I as a parent could not. And she did explain over and over. And so eventually the school district got it. I mean really got it. This blazed a trail for us and made life so much easier moving forward over the years.
Years later I realized that DD really needed a developmental pediatrician. The pediatrician who had worked with us since birth had really become a roadblock. Not only did she not get it she did not get it in a big way. There was one developmental pediatrician recommended over and over but I had not felt he was an appropriate match. My DD did not have developmental or cognitive delays. She was not on the spectrum. I believed he was an expert more in low functioning kids. And besides his practice was impossible to get into. I called one day and had a long conversation with a member of his staff just to see if he could make any recommendations of who I should take her to. A few days later the staff member called to say that in explaining DD's situation to the doctor he agreed to take her on as a new patient despite his practice being closed. And I mean closed as in a six month wait to even talk to somebody about the possibility of getting on a waiting list. It has been awesome. In the first 2 months in his practice I had more meaningful conversations with the doctor then I had in DD's entire 10 1/2 year lifetime with prior pediatrician. Even if he had never seen a child with DD's individual profile before he was used to seeing outside the box kids. He got it. She was an individual not someone who had to try to fit into a pre-existing category. Once again I struck gold.
Before I found the original psychologist I tried psychiatrists. What I found was that psychiatrists tend to become involved almost solely for the purpose of prescribing medication. I had one tell me on the phone during an initial discussion what medication he would provide without ever having met her. She had no psychiatric diagnosis or ADHD. There was no reason to medicate her. Yet he told me what medication he would prescribe before he ever met her. Needless to say he scared me off psychiatrists.
I think one of the best pieces of advice I got early on from DD's psychologist was that it was my job to "translate" for DD. There is nothing typical about my daughter. Most people will try to place her into categories with which they are familiar. And most professionals want or need to feel like they are the experts in the room. But I am the expert in my child. It was my job to "translate" DD to the world and the world to DD. If someone is interested they love working with my DD. Not only is she sweet, cooperative and eager to learn but she will likely add something new to their professional experience. Almost no one has seen a kid like her before. If they are not open to learning something from me or from DD then it will be a disaster. No matter how well known an "expert" that person may seem to be. It's a great litmus test. In my experience this is much more important than looking for experience with gifted kids. Someone who insists that they know more about your child without ever having met them then you possibly could in a lifetime raising them should raise a red flag. So maybe you could get an introductory parent appointment with this developmental pediatrician and feel them out.
And my advice parent to parent is don't worry about the "full potential" thing. Just do the best you can and don't put too much pressure on yourself. These kids are complicated. The more evaluations and the more diagnoses you get the muddier the water gets. So relax, take a deep breath and just keep on keeping on.
{hugs}
