I'm new to the forum and don't entirely know what I'm looking for at this point other than reassurance and guidance. I was tested and placed... somewhere in the highly gifted range in my younger childhood years. I have little information on this, but I know what it is like to live as such and go through the public school system. My son's father, who was homeschooled, has been recently diagnosed and treated for ADHD.
I shouldn't be terribly surprised that our DS4 is showing signs of being both.
DS4 has a history of seizures from early infancy, tethered cord syndrome, and sensory processing difficulties. As such, he was referred by his neurologist to a developmental pediatrician who diagnosed him as ADHD -- coincidentally, one week after his father. (So bear in mind that this is all fresh for everyone.) He was also referred out for OT to address fine motor delays and sensory processing.
Now any adult who meets DS is immediately smitten. He's a charming little chatterbox with an inventive mind, and it genuinely is fun to hear him share his thoughts and ideas. Sometimes he seems more like a 4th grader than a 4 year old. But there is another side to him that has been particularly troubling; I was forced to take him out of preschool at the end of 2016 due to a loss of control with his classmates and a series of aggressive outbursts. He's a cannonball. Whether it was over-stimulation in the classroom, impulse control, or a simple overreaction from a determined little boy, I don't know.
Now his dad and I, though we've broken up, have stayed united in parenting -- until now. His dad sees everything DS does through the ADHD lens and wants him put on stimulants. (DS is currently on a non-stimulant medication for impulsivity after a few episodes of running out in the street last month.) I, however, am concerned that his dad is overreacting. Sometimes I look at our son and think, "There's nothing ADHD about what he is doing right now. He's just being a goofy, random, energetic little boy." Or I think, "All of this emotional intensity is just how he feels and experiences his world. What's wrong with that?" He responds well to comfort in many cases.
We both want the best for our son, and each of us has concerns. I don't want the overflow of potential giftedness (or even, let's be real, normal childhood) to be mislabeled as a product of ADHD because my ex is suddenly hyper-aware of how his own disorder has impacted him. My ex doesn't want his son to go through decades of internal chaos when there are treatments readily available that could help him better tap into his many strengths.
This is not to say that I do NOT think DS has ADHD. What I am more concerned about is over-labeling in such a way that it stifles our son's ability to be a little boy with a big personality.
Most importantly, we don't want to do anything to hinder his social and emotional development by action or inaction. Even now we're trying to get him re-enrolled for school. We want him to feel his best in whatever environment he's in, and though there were difficulties with classmates before, DS needs to be around people to feel his happiest. We want to make that happen for him.
Thoughts and feedback welcome. Thank you for taking the time to read!
