I teach in MA as well.
My experiences with my son? Kindergarten was hell. The teacher thought I was overprotective and asking for special favors when I asked for harder work. Every afternoon was a meltdown, because school was a waste of time. He would have gotten much more out of staying home reading his Beverly Clearly books and science books. He also didn't fit in with the kids (now we know there's aspergers in the mix). Homework was ridiculous as I fought to get it done reading sight words and coloring in things that start with "r".
Teachers always think of him as the perfect student and that he is so cute. It shocks me that teachers feel comfortable saying , "He's soooo smart!" Like it's easy and adorable. When I asked for an IEP, the principal (who used to head the gifted program in town when there was one) was overheard saying, "Why are his parents here for an IEP meeting? He's he smartest kid!"
Needless to say we didn't get an IEP. They told me that they never had Wisc scores so high, but they all agreed that the curriculum was of use to him so no need for an IEP.
Third grade was a blessing. Any negative behaviors disappeared entirely. Because there wasn't busy work and his teacher differentiated like crazy for him. She bought him books and let him read An Inconvenient Truth during class. She had him write to the president because he had great ideas to share about the environment. Basically, she saw inspiration, understood giftedness, and didn't think it was cute.
We're in fourth grade now and I had to fight to get rid of ridiculous assignments like fluency reading. His perfectionism is flairing this year and now they are taking concerns seriously. We now have a 504 per my request. It should be an IEP, but that's not happening.
What works- not just good teachers, but teachers that understand giftedness, and that 2e is a thing.
I can't speak on choices because we can't afford them. A private school is nearly my whole salary. Sometimes I dream about homeschooling.🤔
