Hi Emma,
I'm so sorry to hear about how the IEP meeting went - I tend to agree with Pemberley - it sounds like the school district knew what they wanted the solution to be and they tried to morph the diagnosis/issue to fit the solution.
I think I've asked before and I'm sure you've checked into it.. but just in case you haven't - some states have non-profit legal groups that specifically help with cases related to disability. If you had a state group in your area, they might be really useful in answering the legal questions re IDEA etc.
Wish I could offer something more in the way of help!
Best wishes,
polarbear
