Like amylou, I am just another parent and so please feel free to disregard my random thoughts. For what they're worth:
- While testing her for giftedness will become more relevant at a later time, testing her now to determine whether there is a disability or delay would likely be more important at this point. If you can eliminate the possibility, terrific. If there is a disability or delay, best to address it earlier than later and start whatever therapy or accommodation she might need to flourish to her full potential.
- That said, you might want to read up on misdiagnosis and gifted children and make sure you question any specialist who diagnoses her too quickly. It may be that her reaction was due to overexcitabilities (if you are not familiar with these, you might want to read up), rather than a sign of a disability.
- What do your own instincts tell you? Has she ever had that sort of reaction with you? Does she normally show affection? Does she generally look people in the eye? Does she engage in repetitive behaviour around you? Is she rigid in her behaviour? Your post only describes the instructor's observations of that sort of behaviour.
- By the way, our non-ASD 6 year old can't make eye contact with anyone while he's in the middle of a meltdown. It's not because he's autistic but because he's in emotional overload.
- As for the speech and vocabulary delay, you might want to read The Einstein Syndrome: Bright Children Who Talk Late as another example of gifted children who can be misdiagnosed.
I guess overall, my reaction is "follow your instincts, but rule out the other stuff".
As for the instructor, you might want to ask her to give your daughter some time to adapt. The first day? Really?
