We parent each child to their needs. We have 2 that sound similar to you. The crazy one responds best to traditional parenting techniques and gets "in trouble" more but copes very well with the consequences (raised voice).
The perfectionist is treated like a rational mini adult until she flips her lid then we get very strict with her to stop the meltdown.
To be fair we are in the middle of the journey so I have no idea of how it is going to work long term. We have 2 happy kids though that are mostly well behaved and can be taken anywhere so, so far so good!
