I would appreciate some parenting advices between siblings with vastly different personalities.

DS8 is an outside-the-box thinker, likes to push the envelope, and somewhat impulsive, so I have to set very clear boundaries for him.

DD5 is rigid, a perfectionist, and always making responsible choices. Because of her personality, she is voluntarily following all the rules that we set for her brother, which isn’t really necessary for her.

Lately, I have noticed DD is melting down over small imperfections. She is a picky eater, and she was struggling with finishing her dinner last night. She had a huge tantrum after finishing her plate. She kept saying no one loves her since she couldn’t finish her food. It just breaks my heart that she thinks love only comes from being perfect.

Obviously, I could be more lax with DD, but that would seem unfair to DS. If I am strict with both, I am basically cultivating DD’s perfectionism.

How should I parent with such opposite personalities?

TIA

We parent each child to their needs. We have 2 that sound similar to you. The crazy one responds best to traditional parenting techniques and gets "in trouble" more but copes very well with the consequences (raised voice).

The perfectionist is treated like a rational mini adult until she flips her lid then we get very strict with her to stop the meltdown.

To be fair we are in the middle of the journey so I have no idea of how it is going to work long term. We have 2 happy kids though that are mostly well behaved and can be taken anywhere so, so far so good!