The scream crying! Don't I know that one! All of mine do it, and I feel it's age appropriate only for the three year old, if at all, certainly not for our 5 yo kindergartner and the 9yo fourth grader. Yes, it's aggressive, and can impact your health, badly.
Originally, our then 8, now 9yo had one hour of screen time every night when the little ones were in bed and it was a great bargaining tool: so it's 7.30 - homework all done? Violin practice all done? Okay, go play until 8.30 and then it's off to bed. If homework and or violin wasn't done: go do it, an when your done, play until 8.30, and it's not my fault if there's only 20 minutes left.
DH thought it was too much screen time- he would have been fine if it had been more sketch up or scratch programming or writing his books, but a lot of what he did was watching stupid minecraft vids on YouTube, so now it's weekends only, and I miss my bargaining tool! (Lesson: make sure both parents are on the same page always...)
My two cents: I'd say two hours is too long, I'd restrict it to one hour on the weekends and maybe spread out the two hours you're taking away as half hours on weekdays when you need it - it's great if I can offer an older kid some screen time in order to put the little one down for his nap, without feeling they're not doing anything but.
And I'd make hard and fast rules about the screaming. He's allowed to be upset, even cry, but not scream. Scream minutes will be deducted from screen minutes whenever screen time is up next, and if they occur about something else they are deducted too. I have been thinking about the grace period a PP suggested but think that once a kid has started the screaming it may be hard to stop. Crying, moaning, yes, but zero tolerance on the screaming.
I wish I could remember the parenting book I read about habit building - might have been "Parenting the spirited child" from Kazdin. Its a reframing thing: you are not punishing him for the screaming, but will reward every day that has had no screaming with the full screen time, or with whatever amounts left after deductions (which is another reason I like some screen time every day). Not a right taken away, but a privilege earned anew every day. The idea is that at some point the habit of screaming is overcome and he will not start again, even if the reward is taken away. I should be more consistent about these things myself, but sometimes it helps if you can just get rid of one issue.
Last edited by Tigerle; 04/28/16 11:23 AM.
