You are not alone. :-)
If she's nine and in third grade, would it really be that different to advance a grade from an age-mates standpoint? I ask because our child is nine and in fourth grade (no full-grade acceleration, started K just at age five). That wouldn't be a full solution, but it might be worth considering. If the school is supportive, could she sit in on a few fourth grade classes now and see what she thinks?
All that said, if she is at DYS level ability wise, it is hard to find a perfect schooling match. In our DYS' child's case, a half-day acceleration schedule has been worked out by the school and that, along with friendships w/age-mates and the enrichment classes (gym, music, art, Spanish) is a decent compromise. For now. Sixth grade for math and English/language arts (three hours worth of classes, roughly) and fourth for all else. We know he's not fully challenged, but there have been enough challenges in keeping up with managing a higher daily workload (homework, bane of our lives) to give him something to work on...
