Unfortunately teachermom I indeed have a ton of BTDT advice... The good news is that DD10 is now in a very good place so our experience has a happy ending.
DD was diagnosed with "silent reflux" as a baby and was on Prevacid or Prilosec for years. The stomach pains would stop but anytime we tried to take her off meds the pain came back within a matter of weeks. Severe stomach pains started in kindergarten while in an absolutely awful school situation. At the same time she developed major anxiety so we assumed the stomach pains were connected to the anxiety/ terrible school situation. We soon found out that she was profoundly learning disabled and dealing with this was going to be key in addressing the anxiety.
During the fall of first grade at a different school everything was going well - spec Ed interventions for dyslexia/dysgraphia/math disability/speech issues in place, kind nurturing teacher, etc. One day with an abusive substitute teacher brought flashbacks to the previous year (triggering a full fledged post traumatic stress reaction) and her first really bad headache. She was subsequently diagnosed with migraines (at the ripe old age of 6) and her stomach pains from the previous year were retroactively diagnosed as abdominal migraines. Anxiety was here to stay...
Neurologist started her on *very* low dose Elavil but I was still called to pick her up from school almost every day during the second half of 1st grade. School nurse "didn't believe the migraine diagnosis" and refused to follow pediatrician's medication orders. She also seemed to be putting together a child protective services complaint against me because ya know I had to be making up all these issues, not one of the doctors involved could possibly know more than her, etc.
The summer after first grade I searched out the right therapist and got lucky. I found a 2E adult who was also the parent of a 2E child and who specialized in school anxiety. DD was 7 so there was a play therapy focus but because of her intellect there was a significant talk component too. She started by focusing on getting DD to understand the physiological mechanism of her anxiety response and developing a very specific action plan so DD could feel like she was taking control of the response. DD was exited this past spring after 3 years of therapy and her anxiety is solidly under control but she can request an appointment to go talk to psych anytime she feels the need.
DD was eventually moved to an OOD spec Ed placement and the school anxiety is now under full control. She got into an absolutely miserable migraine cycle and the neurologist changed her to Topimax, eventually raising her to a high dose. It got the migraines under control but had *significant* cognitive impact. We have now reduced the dose 70% and I am hoping she will be removed from it completely later this month. The neurologist was clear that getting the migraines under control is harder than keeping them under control. Also at 11 your DD may be having puberty contribute to the migraines. Neurologist explained that because DD started them so young she has a good chance of outgrowing them during puberty. Unfortunately the opposite is true for most people as puberty tends to be when they start.
And because this wasn't enough last year, at the age of 9 1/2, after more than 8 years taking daily meds our pediatrician finally sent DD to a gastroenterologist. Endoscopy showed eosinophilic esophogitis so now taking twice a day pulmicort slurry instead of Prevacid or Prilosec. Accurate diagnosis is key here. And yeah we changed pediatrician's...
DD loves yoga - attends a weekly class plus frequently does it on her own during recess.
Hope some of this helps.
