Thank you so much for all the great advice!
Polarbear, it is a public school and they do have an SPED department. I go to the board meetings (I'm the only parent there), and at the last one, the SPED Director stated a clear dislike for "medical" professionals sending letters of recommended accommodations. She stated, "Maybe I should start writing prescriptions for medication," and "We are the experts in education. They do not know what accommodations are needed in education." Here's the kicker. DS's psychologist has tried to communicate with his teacher to provide ideas about how to help him in the classroom. She responded once and then said, "I may not be able to respond." I asked if she was using some of those items in class (stress ball, reminder card), and she is not.
The resistance you explained (and you did a good job) is exactly what I think is going on after attending that board meeting and hearing the jokes and chuckles by principals, board members, and audience. I KNOW the instructional coach is annoyed by me. In the one and only meeting I've had with her, she started with, "Is he your only child?" No, I have a two year old. "Oh, but he is your oldest." When I brought ideas to the table, she was obviously resistant and confrontational.
I love and admire teachers, too. My greatest influences have been teachers, and I teach at our community college.
I have asked for specifics, and the teacher says, "he just wants to get done as fast as possible, so he can do what he wants," and "he is always yelling," AND "he tries to manipulate the situation back to him." His psychologist has described his anxiety as a need to have control over his environment, which can look like manipulation, but he's actually just trying to make the situation comfortable again. I received a note that he was trying to get the kids to laugh at a student's art work. He says he wasn't. Swears it. He's not a liar, but he will downplay situations to stay out of trouble (wouldn't any kid?). So I emailed to find out what happened because if he was, then we need to address it. His teacher has told me he is the most challenging student she has.
I'm thinking of starting a parent advocacy group. We live in a rural community, so we're dealing with a rural school. I am getting more involved in our neighboring metro area. One of the local institutions offers a gifted summer program that he is participating in. They offer info sessions for parents, too, so I'm hoping to meet people that way.
The pilot program was in school and he has done very well with it. I am going to use that in my next meeting, if they ever respond. At this point, if I don't get a response soon, I am going to go above them to the superintendent.
deacongirl, I haven't even heard of the book. It's now on my list!
Thanks again for the great advice and support! As you all know, this can be a lonely journey!
