Aufilia: We do not have an actual diagnosis of ADHD. The children's hospital where we originally got the autism diagnosis at 2.5 thinks that the ADHD symptoms he has are part of his autism.
His mobile therapist through wraparound is certain he has ADHD and recommended a different psychiatrist for a second opinion. We were in for a preliminary visit in which she said she didn't think she saw autism, but she wants to do another ADOS now that he is older (his last ADOS was 3.5). She said she saw a lot of symptoms of severe ADHD, especially his impulsivity.
He definitely meets pretty much all of the criteria for ADHD with the exception of short attention span. He is very hyper when he is up and moving and very wiggly when he is seated. He is capable of hours of quiet work though. One of his favorite things to do to unwind is to page through huge books, like medical texts. He doesn't read them, he just pages through and makes up stories or talks about the page numbers. Sometimes he's entirely silent or whispers.
The children's hospital did diagnose anxiety and he was on prozac for a few months and it did seem to help, but not enough for me to justify keeping him on medication. After he got kicked out of the third school I took him off the med. My main concern was that while it did seem to help with the anxiety a noticeable amount, it also seemed to make the ADHD stuff much worse. I'm not sure if I want to start a med for ADHD as young as he is, but I did tell the psych I am willing to trial one to see what kind of improvement we might be looking at. Who knows, if it's a really big difference I might just keep him on it.
Regarding social skills groups, in addition to the IU playgroup we also do a Saturday group during the times it is in session. Enrollment is usually too low. We have done quite a few social skills groups, but enrollment was an issue with all of them and they eventually cancel the groups. The IU playgroup is mixed diagnosis, most of the kids have an intellectual disability and they all seem to have speech delays. Not the best match for my son, but at least it's practice at getting along with others.
The IU has said from the beginning that they don't have special classes or services for kids like my son, they want to provide service at private preschools and then in the regular classroom. Now that my son isn't going to get to go to the regular classroom, they are putting him in behavioral support. Basically, they only offer autism support for low functioning children, the rest either can cut it in regular ed or get put in with the behavior problems.
My son is definitely a behavior problem, but only because he can't seem to control himself. He is a very nice kid who loves flowers and is scared of dinos and super heroes and pretty much everything the other boys are into. He loves animals and babies. He is the sweetest kid in the world when he is well regulated, pretty much at home when it's just the two of us. He listens well when he is well regulated. Catch him at a good time and you will see a good kid.
Unfortunately, he is not able to come close to well regulated in a school setting, small class or not. He also gets super goofy, which I personally think is anxiety related. Once he gets that way it's pretty much impossible to pull him back. He just giggles and acts ridiculous for the rest of the day and eventually falls apart with escalating behaviors. Those days I call early bedtime.
I refuse to believe that my son has ODD or is a behavior problem by choice. No reward chart or point system has done anything to modify his behavior. He just can't seem to stop himself from reacting before thinking. He grabs what others are holding, but he gives it right back when reminded that we don't grab. He pushes if someone else is where he wants to be. He lashes out when he is upset. He always apologizes after and says he didn't mean to do it, his brain forgot to think first. He sometimes gets angry at himself for not being able to earn the things he wants because he keeps making bad choices when he is trying to make good choices.
I'm very worried about his future. It doesn't matter how smart he is or what he is able to do if he can't control himself. I see horrible things like prison or worse when I think about his possible future. I'd do anything to prevent that, but it's so hard to know what is the right thing to do or if it's even something that can be prevented.
