Jai, trying to figure out which direction to take when you have multiple options and nothing seems perfect or even close to it is tough. My advice is two-fold: first, don't let this year's experience cause you to doubt your own gut feelings about what is going to be a good choice for your ds. Second, try not to worry that having a not-so-great experience one year (or maybe even longer), is going to mean that your child is going to fall behind or not live up to their full ability.
quote=Jai]So, I think we are giving up on having my son in public school at the end of this school year (kindergarten). I feel terrible I researched and picked this school and I thought it would fit his needs. The teacher is overwhelmed and doesnt differentiate. I feel like this year is a total waste for my kid.[/quote]
No matter how great a school is overall (school philosophy etc), the teacher in the classroom makes the difference - from my experience, it's *the* difference that counts. Many years before I ever had children, I remember my best friends noting that no matter what school you send your children too, there is going to be one year that you're going to have your kid land in a class with a teacher that is just not good. It happens across the board. We've had it happen with our kids - it can be miserable, but it also doesn't mean that the school overall isn't a really good fit for your child. So - before you definitely decide to move, network around a bit to see what the first grade teachers are like, what other parents have to say about them. It might not be that this school is a bad fit, it could be that it was just this year's teacher.
I feel horrible and guilty.
You have nothing to feel horrible and guilty about. You did your best to try to find a good fit for your ds, you researched schools. Sometimes we get lucky and all works out as we'd hoped, sometimes it doesn't. Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it's because of something you did or didn't do - you really tried, so feel confident that you did what you needed to do, and feel confident moving forward as you reassess.
Some of the students' behaviors were so severe that the principal, assistant principal and counselor intervened and asked the parent volunteers to stop coming while the class was "restructured." And when I say severe--one student smeared feces on the bathroom wall (bathroom is located in classroom.).
We've had our kids at a school where behavioral issues with other kids were overwhelming to the point that the teachers really had limited time for putting energy into teaching (they were too busy managing behavior). This is a really tough situation to be in as a teacher - I have a close friend who is an early elementary teacher faced with this same issue and it's beyond frustrating for her. She's a great teacher, but managing children who are in the classroom without the support that they need takes up a huge amount of her time. She's also very concerned for the kids who have the behavioral challenges, because they are kids and they need support and they aren't getting it from the school district or from their parents. So I'd also look at - are these issues that exist across classrooms and grade levels at this school? If so, it's a tough situation to have a child in who wants to learn.
I don't even know what to look for in a private school. My husband and I found one that we both like (a rarity), and I think our son would appreciate the faster pace, but I no longer trust my judgment because I liked the public school. I just don't know where to start.
You look for the same things in a private school you look for in a public school - what you want for your child, academic challenge level, learning philosophy, environment etc. Whatever *you* want for your child. With a private school, there are a few add-ons to consider (some would be the same if you are looking into public charters) - how long has the school been around, is it financially stable, is it growing/stable/ or shrinking in terms of total # of students - and if it's shrinking, why? Does it compensate teachers well enough to attract and retain quality teachers? Are parents satisfied with it, enthusiastic about it? Is there an expectation of parental involvement and does that fit with what you are comfortable with? Are there "add-on" expenses involved that might be a strain financially for your family (class trips, fundraisers, etc)? If it's only an elementary school, where do students typically move to for secondary?
A few other questions to consider from your family's perspective - how far is the drive (I'm guessing there isn't a bus option), and how does the commute impact family life? Do you have younger children? Do you see yourself sending them to this same school?
Re being non-Christian in a Christian school - ask what the percentage of non-Christians enrolled is, and also ask about denominations - is there a high percentage of one denomination vs others? One of my children attended a Christian school for awhile (we are Christian, but this school wasn't affiliated with our specific church or our denomination). I'll share a few things from our experience - which may be *completely* irrelevant from the experience you will have, but otoh, they are things you could ask about or be thinking about when you network with other parents. Our school advertised itself to us as a school of diverse (religion) families - there were children from different denominations and different churches from all around town. This was true, but it didn't really translate to diversity of what was taught or to diversity of philosophy of teaching faculty. Note: I'm not talking about expecting other religions and ideas to be embraced, I'm talking about different layers of how Christianity is approached. This also spilled over into the playground with peers. And the flip side of what you'd expect at a Christian school also happened - just because a school is "Christian" doesn't mean you're going to find your child in the midst of children with "Christian" values - our dd's "not acceptable to our family" vocabulary grew with leaps and bounds during recess at this school.. and that hasn't happened at any of the other schools she's attended.
I hope that doesn't sound like I'm bashing schools with religious affiliations because I'm not! It's just been my family's experience that in finding a good fit for school philosophy and values, it's been easier for us to find a school that has values that align with our family values without the church-affiliation.
It sounds like you've found a school you are really interested in - I'd trust your gut.
Good luck as you move forward!
polarbear
