Thanks everyone for a lot of great advice, especially indigo's list of what to say etc.
Dude- the preschool teacher recommended that approach for the exact reason you are recommending the opposite approach. I just don't think it matters much in practice because the process is going to be the same. The school has to evaluate him with a teacher referral for early kindergarten. But they don't have to evaluate for giftedness in any other situation unless he is a k thru 12 student in the district, so it comes down to the process is the same so how does it sound. I think that the recommendation might also have to do with the advice of an intervention specialist at his preschool, who is used to dealing with special education concerns. I'm sure if you have a child over 3 that needs to be identified as having special needs the local school district is the responsible agency
Helianthus, thanks for sharing your story,I bet it works out better in the long run, kids aren't usually having real best friends in kindergarten, so even if he's ready his classmates probably aren't. When I was that age my best friend was an 8 year old boy from my neighborhood.
Aufilia, we put him in preschool at 3 so he would have that social experience but also he can be very intense emotionally, we were concerned just a little,and wanted him to learn some emotional regulation skills in a social setting. Also we were anticipating the current situation and wanted to make sure he wasn't being penalized for lack of preschool if it came to this. On his "report card" that we just got his social emotional skills are all rated above age level expectations. He can be a bit of a challenge at home, but seems to really get that certain behaviors aren't appropriate at school. He's also VERY rule oriented which works in his favor. This year did a lot for him,but in a way, I'm concerned that more preschool could even HARM him, because he's already putting real effort into being similar to the other kids, so he doesn't try as hard as he could. Like he stopped trying to learn to read for a couple of months and when I asked him why, he said "three year olds can't read" so we talked about it, and I told him some kids even younger than him can and some people learn in school and there are even people who never learn or always have a hard time wi th it, and he should just be himself, do his best and not worry about shoulds because everyone is different. And now he's interested again.
Actually the thing I need the most help understanding is what is maturity in terms of school readiness. Ds is my only kid, and I don't have a lot of experience with other kids. He does have more 3/4 year old type fine motor skills, but the policy actually says they should accelerate anyhow and then provide accomodations as needed.
The preschool said he lacked problem solving skills, like he was comparing boxes by stacking them up first,rather than looking and guessing before nesting,but I really think that there's something else at work there. This is the kid who figured out how to move furniture around to get what he wanted at the same time as he learned to walk, 9 or 10 Mos old. So either the activity was too simple and he was trying to make sure there wasn't something he was missing, or he was imitating classmates, either for social reasons or because its less boring.
Also all day is a long time for him to be gone? Any advice on how to check our his ability to handle that ahead of time?
