We have a friend who's 10 YO son (at school with mine) is a national level athlete. Every time we talk, I get the Mars/ Venus feeling: every bit of advice she offers, every suggestion she makes for kid's activities or supports, would be so terribly, utterly wrong if applied to my son.
But her son - very like both his parents - is *deeply* motivated by competition. Any kind of school work, homework, project, artistic endeavour, even play activities - frame it in a competitive way and he enthusiastically gives it his all, wants to work hard, learn more, engage more. Take away the competitive element and blah. He's checked out and half-hearted at best. My DS, in contrast, loathes any possible hint of competition, and thrives only when it's not there.
So - my thought isn't age-specific, but more, can you get into her head at this young age and start to get some sense as to where she might fall on the spectrum above? If competition weighs her down, minimize or avoid. On the other hand, if it inspires her to soar - well, then you might need to find ways to let her fly.
