Yesterday we had the mid-year conference for DS8, third grade, HG+, high average or dead average depending on which tester you ask. On a third grade achievement test, he tested at the 98th percentile for end-of-year level in the fall (testing administered by the infamous school psych who thought that his HG+ test results through private testing must have been manipulated by a tester who's a personal friend, so no reason to think that result inflated).
They have a new format for the conference, which includes a three page self assessment to be completed by the child, then a half hour conference discussing self and teacher assessment with the child, with parent(s) in attendance - parents are asked to chime in and comment or ask questions, but the conference is with the child.
DS was very tense and frequently upset during the conference, screwing himself around the chair, torturing his sleeves, yanking his hair and at one point even grabbing mine for comfort, which he hasn't done for years. When his problematic work habits were discussed - perfectly kindly and appropriately on behalf of the teacher, with many references to his excellent grasp of the material and his otherwise exemplary conduct, he cried.
His school has a Montessori-style work period every morning, with the important difference that all children must complete the same weekly work package, they can merely choose the order. It's a high SES catholic school using the the state curriculum, and the class is working at a high level, probably somewhat ahead as compared to regular state schools.
DS8 has trouble with task initiation and follow through. His teacher feels that he just cannot decide in what order to tackle the work package, finally deciding on one, then realizing it does not hold his interest, trying to switch to something else, never finishing fast enough to be given higher level work. Also, he has trouble keeping track of his stuff, handing in notes etc.
For maths, the problem has so far been solved for this year with single subject acceleration, which seems to work to the satisfaction of all concerned - apparently the fourth graders even remind their teacher at the beginning of maths lessons to knock on the door to get DS8, which I thought was cute. He enjoys science, which is mostly project oriented, and the specials, except for PE - he sort of suffers through ball games and other competitive games, but at least enjoys individual PE such as gym parcours and swim class.
The one area of concern remains LA. His teacher, while acknowledging that she could easily give him fourth grade work during work time and that he is doing very well in both spelling and grammar, feels that DS can do with the "practice" and is concerned about "gaps".(I forgot to point out the 98th percentile achievement test. But I have a feeling this kind of thing is more about "belief" than "proof" with teachers anyway.)
I did point out that he comes by his executive function issues honestly and that at the tender age of 41, I still have major problems with task initiation and follow through - unless the work grips me intellectually, at which I may have a problems with stopping! So, couldn't DS work on his EF issues with work that wasn't rote practice of stuff he'd mastered but with stuff that was challenging him? She argued that he had problems tackling even open ended tasks that he could extend to his hearts content such as story writing. But at home he can spend hours on story writing I exclaimed, producing beautiful finished work, and she conceded that yes, the latest story was indeed finished and finished beautifully.
That's when our time slot was over, and we wrapped up. A full grade skip was not discussed, as indeed I do not want DS to have to work on his very real challenges in a middle school setting in fall. He simply did not present like a soon-to-be middle schooler today. I feel he needs the nurturing environment of elementary school more than he need the additional challenge. I might be wrong in this, but would feel worried I was setting DS up for failure if he had 10 teachers in as many subjects to keep track of and commute for an hour this fall.
DH thinks we should let it go and chalk it down as a not perfect, but good enough situation. (We will have to come up with new ideas for next year, though). DH is also not averse to have DS finish boring routine work in order to learn to stay on task. (I have to admit We have the same problem with DS with the tiniest household chores, he is distracted at the drop of a hat and will forget the same chore every day, again and again and again, though he can be a tireless worker for hours when gripped by the project, such as party planning for a younger sibling. I would like to think I at least planted a seed for the teacher to mull over, and maybe try out. Should it be good enough?
Last edited by Tigerle; 02/03/15 05:15 AM.
