Have you sat in on the class one grade ahead? Two grades ahead?
So... what are they doing in 3rd grade this month in algebra? Rearranging equations with a lot of parentheses?
How about literature class, what's that like in 3rd versus 2nd: Huckleberry Finn this month, Ann of Green Gables next?
No?
You are describing a child who scores extremely highly in aptitude. Who not only is capable of complex symbolic analysis, but also has a font of knowledge based on a past pace that is markedly different from her peers. You also describe a self motivated learner, who enjoys academic learning out of her own interest.
If she skips a year she will be asked to add numbers with one extra digit. The following year she will be asked to learn to multiply and divide small numbers. The next year she will be allowed to multiply and divide larger numbers. Oh wait, this is a small nurturing private school, so they actually divide two years from now. In three they get to divide with another digit. All year.
If she skips a year now she not have her best friend nearby for much of the day.
The school sees there is a problem, good for them. And they have not had many situations just like this before, and they have heard that when kids are way far ahead it's a good idea to skip them. That's the extent to which they've worked on the problem.
It can be a good solution sometimes. If the child is bored and wants to try something new it's a great idea. If they are getting on the teacher's nerves to the point it's unpleasant for both the teacher and them, it can be a good idea. Sometimes just change itself shows one that the adults are trying to make things better, and that can count for a lot. Sometimes the next teacher is more interested in differentiation, etc. Sometimes the little intellectual boost of being around kids a year older can go a long way, and that one lasts multiple years.
It doesn't sound like the above are the main reasons a skip is being thought about? It's more just the obvious mismatch between the instruction and her readiness?
So next year, if she is done with this amazing best friend because they grew apart, that would be a great time to skip. You can still skip next year. It does sound like except for the friend issue she could handle the skip easily enough and that it might help a bit.
But the academics are just SO remedial in 2nd grade you say, you can't stand it another minute? Yes they are. But they are in 3rd too. If you can't observe, just ask to see the 3rd grade teacher's book of assignments and look through the whole year of what she's be supposed to do. It's like a scary movie come to life.
So, without traumatizing the poor kid by ripping her from her soul mate, what can you do?
Spend time chatting about your concerns, slowing the conversation down so the school gets more used to the idea of a complex fix. Find the teacher who teaches the closest thing to algebra and talk to them directly, ask them what they suggest. They may refer you right back to whomever you've been talking to, but it just widens the number of people who are interested in your DD. Maybe she can go to 4th for math? Maybe she can do an online math website during math time. There are lots of ways to work at acceleration.
A traditional grade skip is very very simple for the school and then they'll feel they've sewed it all up, but it's only one piece of giving her a reasonable academic curriculum (I didn't even say challenging because it's a bit much to hope for, isn't it?)
Alone a skip would not be sufficient anyways, so it can at least be done without on a temporary basis until your DD feels more supportive of it. In the meantime work on the other pieces, they would still be necessary after the skip so why avoid them?
Sigh. Sorry for the bitter or flippant factor in my response, comes from years of wondering why schools can't get it about the pace problem.
It's so not the school's fault at all though. They are likely doing great and meeting the academic needs of 95% of their students which is about all one could hope for. They are even aware there's a mismatch with your DD, which is beyond many schools' abilities. Keep complimenting them on that.
