My DS7 has perfectionistic issues and problems with frustration tolerance (he's actually in process of an evaluation).
It's coincidental that you bring this up, my DH and I were talking about this issue last night. We have come to realize that any new, challenging task that comes DS's way will start with frustration.
Many people would say that if a child is frustrated, it means that the work is too hard/they're trying to tell you something. For many children this is probably the case. In our circumstance, it's often the frustration (not necessarily the task) that is the problem. We're teaching (with the help of a therapist) coping mechanisms so that DS can adaptively tell us that he's not ready/does not want to continue with a task-- and so that he can read his own body's signals that it's time to take a short break. If he can't read his body cues and use words, the frustration goes up and up until we're in a tantrum situation.
FWIW, we found that the amount of time spent on homework in second grade is a big factor. In our case, DS can handle about 20-30 total of homework several days a week or 15-20 minutes each night. 20-30 minutes on spelling alone seems excessive--especially as it is a task that frustrates your DS. I could see DS become highly frustrated if there wasn't a way to break that down. We have also found that 20 minutes of outdoor time, snack, then homework makes a world of difference.
