Our DS, 3.5 is in preschool, it's a 3-5 age program for K preparation. I thought this might be good for him to be with a range of ages so that when the 5 y.o.'s were learning more advanced topics/skills, he could join their group, if needed.
So today I drop him off and the board says, "We are learning the letter A today!" My heart sank, went to the car and called my husband. He had a great idea to bring some books for him to read if the teachers find that he is bored and acting out during their academic sessions.
I bring them afterwards and try to be very unassuming and just say, "At home when he is having a hard time, he can chose some books to read and lately, he's been enjoying these, I can leave them if you ever need them. I noticed that you will be teaching the alphabet and I just worry that during this time you may see behavior that is caused by frustration, so these books may help."
Long story short: It was clear that she either didn't believe me or didn't think it was important. But did say, "Sure, leave them in his cubby and if that's what you do at home, if he needs them, we can do that, too."
I scan the room and see simple puzzles and alphabet games, count up to the number 12 games.
It's so hard not to feel some strange pang of something, I don't even know what it is-fear, worry, realization?
In the car on the way home, he actually asked me why the teachers were telling the kids about the letter A and said he thought maybe the other kids can't read like he thought. He was confused. My mommy heart just hurts.
This is year 2 of preschool and I think he thought this year would be challenging.
So we go home and he writes a book immediately on germs because that's what they learned about, then I tried to help him nap but he just counted to 100 over and over trying to get it right. So no nap and just a whirlwind of energy and frustration for the remaining of the day. His brain never lets him rest and he is so compelled to learn constantly, it's like this force within that is almost painful for him at times.
And so I texted my husband, "All those fears I had about Kindergarten, well, it starts now...and so it begins."
Some days it's hard to pick myself up off the floor-figuratively of course, ok no, sometimes literally-LOL.
The lonlieness and constant whirlwind that beginds at 6 a.m. and ends at 7:30 with scarce breaks inbetween, the being on-your-toes 100% of the time, the obsessing over the next academic materials to gather because he's heading that way, I think, oh wait, he's past that? When did that happen? You all know the drill.......just a quicksand kind of day. I sure do love him. I just hope I can be what I need to be for him to be happy.
