Our DS, 3.5 is in preschool, it's a 3-5 age program for K preparation. I thought this might be good for him to be with a range of ages so that when the 5 y.o.'s were learning more advanced topics/skills, he could join their group, if needed.
So today I drop him off and the board says, "We are learning the letter A today!" My heart sank, went to the car and called my husband. He had a great idea to bring some books for him to read if the teachers find that he is bored and acting out during their academic sessions.
I bring them afterwards and try to be very unassuming and just say, "At home when he is having a hard time, he can chose some books to read and lately, he's been enjoying these, I can leave them if you ever need them. I noticed that you will be teaching the alphabet and I just worry that during this time you may see behavior that is caused by frustration, so these books may help."
Long story short: It was clear that she either didn't believe me or didn't think it was important. But did say, "Sure, leave them in his cubby and if that's what you do at home, if he needs them, we can do that, too."
I scan the room and see simple puzzles and alphabet games, count up to the number 12 games.
It's so hard not to feel some strange pang of something, I don't even know what it is-fear, worry, realization?
In the car on the way home, he actually asked me why the teachers were telling the kids about the letter A and said he thought maybe the other kids can't read like he thought. He was confused. My mommy heart just hurts.
This is year 2 of preschool and I think he thought this year would be challenging.
So we go home and he writes a book immediately on germs because that's what they learned about, then I tried to help him nap but he just counted to 100 over and over trying to get it right. So no nap and just a whirlwind of energy and frustration for the remaining of the day. His brain never lets him rest and he is so compelled to learn constantly, it's like this force within that is almost painful for him at times.
And so I texted my husband, "All those fears I had about Kindergarten, well, it starts now...and so it begins."
Some days it's hard to pick myself up off the floor-figuratively of course, ok no, sometimes literally-LOL.
The lonlieness and constant whirlwind that beginds at 6 a.m. and ends at 7:30 with scarce breaks inbetween, the being on-your-toes 100% of the time, the obsessing over the next academic materials to gather because he's heading that way, I think, oh wait, he's past that? When did that happen? You all know the drill.......just a quicksand kind of day. I sure do love him. I just hope I can be what I need to be for him to be happy.

I don't understand why preschool exists.

May I suggest you consider a 100% play-based preschool? My DD4 goes to one and she LOVES her school. I was so worried about sending DD to preschool but she is thriving and we all couldn't be happier.

Another thing that has worked well for us is redirecting her passion for learning into extra curricular activities. She still loves to read and she still loves numbers but her main focus is to excel in music that is keeping her pretty busy.

Kindergarten is a huge issue for us too but for now, we're in a good place. We love all of DD's teachers.

To be honest I can't see why they are teaching 3 year olds letters anyway.

I would also look for a play based place UNLESS he is the kind of kid who needs heaps of structure and organisation. Also unless the pre school is for day care purposes think about whether your needs might be met better in other ways.

I am sure you can be what he needs. I am just as sure this preschool can't. Do you have other options, such as a play-based/developmental program, with lots of messy crafts and role play? A forest or farm preschool? A Montessori program? Whatever there is out there, there must be a better option that does not expect him to get excited about learning the letter A...

My DD thrived in a play based laboratory program and many other parents on the board have reported that their kids did too. Look at local high schools or universities that use their preschool program as a support for child development, early childhood education, etc programs. These seem the best at being able to meet the needs of our out of the box kids.

Good luck!

I know how you feel. The school year began in earnest yesterday where we live, and I've already had a handful of people ask if DS will be beginning kindergarten next year. I have read the provincial curriculum guidelines for K and grade 1, and he's met most of the end of year targets for both, and exceeded many. We plan to homeschool him for kindergarten, and I'm working on starting a gifted school for grade 1. Suffice it to say my motivation is currently very high! It's disconcerting to know that the public school system--as it stands here--will not be able to meet his needs, as was the case for DH and I.

There's solid research backing the idea that kids who go to preschool have better educational outcomes, though it does not state a reason. So I'll add: because, many children receive little to no mental stimulation prior to kindergarten.

The parents in this particular cohort are not part of the problem that preschool exists to resolve.

@GGG your post rings true, unfortunately it's the gifted parent lament... a quicksand kind of day becomes a quicksand kind of year becomes a quicksand decade of schooling. Meeting their needs may be a 24/7 pursuit because these kids are Gifted All the Time.

For curriculum and learning experiences for your child, you may wish to visit your library, keep reading lists, glean what you can from homeschooling sites, Hoagies Gifted Education Page, and the Davidson Database Resources. Continue seeking academic/intellectual peers, regardless of chronological age.

For psychological insight into parenting a gifted child and for managing your expectations, you may wish to explore:
- "Tips For Parents" articles on the Davidson database,
- SENG articles,
- books from sources including Great Potential Press, Prufrock Press, free spirit publishing, and Magination Press.
- youtube channels from Summit Center, Davidson Academy.

Gifted kids are a small part of the population. Without parental effort, advocacy, and seeking developmentally appropriate opportunities, gifted kiddos may be lost in the shuffle.

DS could read in preschool and I mentioned that to his teachers a few times and just kind of got a shrug with a "whatever" look. About 6 months into the school year one of the teachers stopped me after school and said "Did you know he could read?!" Apparently they had been in the school library and DS picked up a random picture book and started reading it aloud, fluently. The teacher asked him if that's a book he had at home, and memorized, and DS said "no". After that, one of the teachers listened to him read aloud regularly, for a few minutes per day and they seemed to try harder to challenge him.
When he was in 3 year old preschool he knew all the letters, letter sounds, could rhyme words, could do basic addition/subtraction, etc., and as soon as the teachers got out the academic "stations"....he would literally make a run for it. As in go out the door and run down the hallway. Since it was an integrated preshool there was a special ed teacher there and she started doing "interventions" to keep the behavior from getting out of control. I had put him in preschool because I thought it would be good for him to have structure, social relationships, work on fine motor skills, etc. and now I'm wondering if it was a really bad idea, and it just fostered his dislike of school (which he still has). He's much better behaved now but has a major attitude. Today I went in to drop off his slant board and he pulled me over to his desk, opened up the math workbook and pointed to the ridiculous stuff they were doing, like draw a math mountain for 8+5=13. He had a look of despair on his face, not a "this is so hard!" look but "this is so easy I'm going to go nuts" look. The teacher knows the situation--but I don't think she quite grasps how advanced he is. She asked something the other day like "so you can multiply?" ummmmm, he could multiply fluently over a year ago.

I have to second the call for play-based pre-K - and keep it short, so your DS can continue his learning at home, if he so desires.

My favorite pre-K story: DS, then 3, was at play based pre-K and the teacher served Popsicles as a special treat one day. The teacher enjoyed conversing with the students while they ate their snack, as this was a structured "social time" for the class. Apparently, the Popsicle sticks had "jokes" on them...well, DS decided to "tell the joke" to his pre-K class. Except, the teacher noticed he was READING the joke from the Popsicle stick. She was STUNNED, and sent that stick home in a plastic bag informing us of what had happened). We were not surprised (DS could read whatever he wanted to, by this point).

Actually, the funniest part was DS's little pre-K friends handing him anything that needed to be read, since they'd all figured out that he could "crack the code" (useful when playing video games with "tip manuals"), etc.

It will be OK. BTW, don't have much higher expectations for academics in a typical kindergarten, or you might be disappointed.

Thank you all for your replies and support. I appreciate all of the advice.
I think so many of you are right, we need a play based preschool. Our sole intention of preschool is the social factor. But since they are doing academic activities, it would be nice if he could do something at his level. But you know what, like one of you said, quicksand kind of day, quicksand kind of year. This is just how it goes. I was hoping this kind of situation wouldn't be an issue until K. At least I'd have two more years of not crying about this, but here we go. I'm going to stick this new program out for a little while longer because it's our best option in other respects.

This is something that we need to really look at for our daughter 2 1/2 too. She has been in daycare since 3 months. Up to now it has been play based, but the next age group does start covering academics. I know that nothing that they will be covering will she not find to be a complete waste of her time. She does not like being hand fed any facts anymore. She prefers to learn naturally - facts tied to their relevance. I can imagine how board she would get talking about the letter A all day. She would probably say something like "Okay A..., airplane, aardvark, ape,... A A let's go play."

Update: He brought the book he wrote and read it to the teachers, they shared it with the class (it was on the topic they are covering). You could see how he felt proud, connected and understood. It was very sweet of them. I had suspected that they had a conversation after the awkward conversation. I need to remember that eventhough we have known him 3 years, his needs are new to them. They are definitely trying and I think they believe that he can read now, because before they looked at me with disbelieving eyes, of course. There is hope!

GGG, glad that your LO has such a good teachers, it is really nice to shared the bk he wrote and read it to the class!!
Hope your LO can find his own way of entertaining himself during the academic time :P
I have tried to let my son attend play-base preschool, and the problem is he doesn't enjoy it as he doesn't enjoy the toys there (blocks, train, simple puzzles), he just ignored the toys and do the very simple arts. When other kids do each art once, he does the same art again and again for more than 6 times! =_=
As I have brought him to different preschool, i find that he likes sth more challenging. (E.g. arts that need more steps and skills like cut and paste) So i finally give up play-base preschool.

Update: First of all, I have read your posts many times since and want to thank you for taking the time to reply.

indigo, your list of support is my go-to info for these quicksand days. What you said is painfully true, "unfortunately it's the gifted parent lament... a quicksand kind of day becomes a quicksand kind of year becomes a quicksand decade of schooling. Meeting their needs may be a 24/7 pursuit because these kids are Gifted All the Time.

In the span of a week and a half he has taught himself how to write. He went from writing letters from memory to invented spelling to sentences with puncuation. He makes these little books all day at home. So all he wants to do at school is make books. For the first time, I could see that they understood what I was trying to convey. She told me this morning that they noticed he'll walk around acting bored, then go get some paper, make a book and then get up and play with the other kids. She said, "it's like it just 'centers' him.

Well, yes and no. It "centers" him because it's his passion to learn. For now, I think her perspective is that he's writing to calm himself and to a certain extent that is true, but he's writing because in his mind, just a little more practice and he'll be able to write anything.

I am thankful that they are getting to know him and allowing him to make his little books at school. But she looked at me with an expression and said, "I'm going to call you soon, I've been making mental notes, he doesn't want to participate in much."

I left heartbroken and on fire again to see if he can be a candidate for early entrance Kindergarden. I go back and forth on it all the time.

I hope he'll say he enjoyed school today when I pick him up.