-DD: incredibly disorganized, cannot do multi-step tasks unless you write down the items, and she checks them off. She knows that she has “forgetfulness” which has caused her to believe that she is “stupid”. On the other hand she can focus for hours at a time on drawing and writing.
ADHD is not "lack of attention," it is "inability to regulate attention." That intense focus can be as much of a problem as the lack of focus, depending on context.
When I read to her and DD10 at night, she has to do something else at the same time (Rainbow Looms or drawing).
Our ADHD-i family member always has something in his hand.
DD thinks that she is not smart because she can’t remember anything.
At home and school, she needs to be set up for success. Self-esteem is a major issue with kids like this, who are made to feel stupid when they are not.
Psych. says it’s going to get really tough in middle school when she will be expected to be self organized and turn things in in a timely manner – executive functioning problems.
Yep. I'd work on it now. And the self-esteem issue also cues working on it now.
504 – will be making a call for a 504 as soon as school starts back up again in the Fall.
Consider writing the letter to request it now, so that the process can start faster. Not a call, a letter.
ADHD seem like a good call?
Reasonable.
Not at this point.
Meds – our child can’t get to sleep already and is very thin so we are very hesitant to use ADHD meds (we work in mental health and know a lot of the side effects of ADHD meds). BUT, we are open to hearing about those who have.
For this you'd need a specialist, but there are real alternatives that do not (typically) affect weight or sleep. Strattera and Intuniv are two.
Behavioral interventions? Good websites? We are going with behavioral work first with the psych.
You can teach sequencing and organization as skills. We have found that our child has done best with meds plus behavioral interventions. The meds make it possible to learn and practice the skills successfully.
Finally – just tell me that we are suddenly going to become filled with more patience now that we know she has ADHD because this child tests us!!!! I just pray for the time that I can ask her to feed the fish, and it will happen........
I wish you patience.
We have devised strategies. We have cues we repeat for personal hygiene or repeated tasks. ("Go do your teeth face hair. What are you supposed to do?" "My teeth face hair." [gets distracted] "What are you doing?" "Oh! my teeth face hair.")
Or you can give a "first next last" instruction, and have her repeat the steps back to you.
Our biggest win, honestly, was the meds, plus addressing issues at school (checklist on desk, checklist in locker, with teacher prompts to use those lists). Name labels in everything, so that lost items can usually be found. We talk a lot about time, since people with ADHD often have nearly no innate concept of time. We make sure to put our child into situations where he feels lovable and capable.
It's doable, and things will improve...
