Portia, I can't speak to the emotional side of raising an older child, but I can make a suggestion about processing embarrassment and developing a tolerance for missteps that worked for me: improv comedy. Frankly, I think every school should teach public speaking and self-confidence covertly through improv because it provides a safe forum to look like a total fool at times and still be accepted and valued. Some of my best improv memories came from sketches that flopped.

What is to give light must endure burning.