Knute - I'm definitely asking to better understand myself. I've always felt intensely different and alone as a child (for example I had hobbies neighborhood kids, much less girl peers, didn't find interesting at all-- bug collecting and "playing archaeologist") and this sense of alienation has continued into adulthood. I feel as if I experience the world so intensely, remember everything so vividly, and care so deeply in my very few relationships, I am often both overwhelming and overwhelmed at the same time. I feel as if being identified as gifted as a child would have saved me somewhat from my loneliness growing up, and to be honest, it's always bothered me I was tested so many times and never heard anything back. Why was I undeserving? These are my more psychoanalytic purposes for asking.
Practically speaking, I'm also crossing a professional crossroad in my life regarding pursuing higher education in the humanities/English versus attending law school. I want to first assess the suspicion I have regarding a possible learning disorder and set up a plan for tackling this before any kind of graduate classes. Additionally, I don't want to bite off more than I can intellectually chew and wind up overwhelmed academically. Maybe I am just not that smart--someone has to fall in those 124-127 IQ scores that are undeniably painfully close to the cutoff but just do not meet it.
I guess I'm most confused about the 7th grade test. I was performing with complete mediocrity at that time and was actually very much more interested in trying to fit in and survive socially than with school. I hadn't been tested since 3rd grade and that score was very low due to my bubbling error. Why do you guys think they tested me individually and then never spoke to me? It just doesn't make sense.
