I used to have to do this for ds all the time - still do in some situations. I wouldn't say it's "not helpful", but rather, it's not what other adults expect - there's an expectation that a child will speak up for himself or answer a question when it's directed at him/her. When a child won't answer, adults tend to assume the child is either shy or not interested or being rude or being a child or whatever, when for a child with an expressive language disorder what it really means is they have no idea what to say or how to respond. In that instance - when you are speaking for a child who doesn't know what to say and can't know in the moment because they have a genuine for-real challenge - I think it's actually helpful to speak up for them - it is in one sense an accommodation - just as letting a dysgraphic child type or letting a dyslexic child listen to audio textbooks - to bypass the challenge to accomplish the task. More importantly, every time you speak up for your ds you are showing him how to answer a question with words - and that's a huge part of what a child with an expressive language challenge needs to learn - how to answer with their words. Or at least it has been for my ds.
Best wishes,
polarbear
I get a LOT of grief for doing this particularly from my husband and mother. And I know my teenager my son SHOULD know how to speak for himself. But when a child isn't able to express themselves, and I have a better clue because I know them better. It's hard to just stay quiet. For my daughter I often felt I was modeling and showing her how to respond.
I now feel terribly guilty that I didn't see this earlier. Both guilt and a bit of relief although I know this is just a theory until I can get it tested. In 6th grade DS was having major anxiety and anger problems, than turned into social problems. These stemmed from the demands in his gifted class. One major component was a huge amount of writing. He ended up seeing a psychologist and we put him in a social skills class with kids. These things both helped but clearly hasn't addressed the root of the problem. It's also where I got the opinion that he wasn't 'on the spectrum'.
I've left a phone call with the educational therapist and I've decided I'm going to start by writing his English teacher an email about last nights assignment. I figure that is the first step before addressing his counselor.
Thanks a lot. You have been very helpful.
