Think about the "immaturity" and how it manifests. I thought my dd was very immature because she had limited impulse control, reacted strongly to perceived injustice, etc. The preschool teacher showed me that dd thought things out clearly. She did lack impulse control (and still does at 12), but there are reasons behind what she does. She has thoughts behind it. The teacher told us that immaturity based impulse control is seen in a kid that doesn't know why they did what they did, and actually might be surprised that they got in trouble.
I don't know if I make myself clear, it's been a few years! But when the teacher explained it to me, it made a lot of sense. Mine appeared immature due to meltdowns, intolerance of frustration and imperfection, etc. Turned out that when given material with an actual learning curve where mistakes were part of the learning process (rather than a sign of inattention due to being too easy), dd accepted mistakes. When she was allowed to process frustration (with piano especially) herself-- go ahead and scream it out, she was able to take ownership of the learning and proceed. It was just her method of moving forward. And she organized things on her own. Her first long term assignment in first grade, she came home, set a schedule for completion, dividing the tasks up per day. Planning, foresight. Despite horrible meltdowns that made her look young.
I don't know if that makes sense. (My dd skipped K -- which was wonderful and put to rest my immaturity concerns) I have a kid who actually is immature and it just looks different. The immature one prefers to not have too much challenge, is not equipped to deal with more mature challenges and executive function demands.
Thanks MON! This is very VERY much like my DD. She is also very intense and she tends to explode at home if she doesn't get the work "right" the first time, or if she is not allowed to figure it out the way she sees fit. She is very self-directed. But loves the challenge and will ultimately insist on doing work that isn't "easy".
Fortunately she is also organized and efficient for the most part, unlike my space cadet DS.
This has been such a learning process for me. Am I right in thinking that she will have these type of issues whether she is in 1st or 2nd grade next year? I think as she gets older, she will be able to harness some her intensities somewhat but she will always have a low tolerance for frustration, etc.
