So sorry you're going through this. I laughed (bitterly) when I read about the private school -- our local (expensive) ones are just the same. "Great academics," "so selective," etc. But the reality is that they pitch each course about one grade above grade-level courses in the public schools, and they have very rigid and limited curricula and will not permit kids to learn at a higher level than the group. This dynamic -- not permitting acceleration -- actually seems a bit worse in the private schools, IME, because they don't dare admit that any of the kids are brighter than the others, since all the parents pay the same exhorbitant rates.
Rant over! :-)
On the two-years-ahead law, I had a question: is it that she can't be promoted to a GRADE with kids more than two years older or cannot sit in a CLASSROOM with kids more than two years older? If the former, you could keep her in her chronological grade (or skip her two years) but teach her whatever you want. That seems to be your idea with the dual enrollment, and that seems just right. My dc will be a chronological 9th grader next year but will take AP classes, 11th grade English (just to relax and not push) and so on. (This is in homeschool, though, not a public school, but we shadow standard curricula in public and private schools.) He will top out of high-school-level offerings by the beginning of his junior year (at least in humanities), but at that point, he can take college classes through a local (good) college.
Good luck -- this IS daunting. We switched to homeschool at age 10 too, and I've been continually amazed at how difficult it is to find a school fit.
