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high achiever so that made sense to me
Yes, giftedness is not necessarily synonymous with high achievement, but with a bit of understanding and insight on how to tap into a gifted kiddo's processing they can often reach their potential.

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feeling so confused and quite unsuccessful as a parent
LOL, these kids can keep us on our toes, we're all in the same boat and/or BTDT so you're among good company. IMO it's great you're focused on this:
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I just want her to enjoy learning
... good parent! smile