You've already gotten great advice - I have just a few things to add.
With that said DD is in 1st grade working at a minimum 3rd grade level. I knew this based off things she has been doing at home.
I found it helpful to look up my school district's curriculum guidelines when advocating (I was able to find ours online, on our school district's website. Our state also has published curriculum goals for each grade on the state department of ed website). Once you have those, you have a set of concrete objectives you can compare your dd's work to. Take examples of the work she's done at home to the meeting, but be sure to be able to show where they place her in terms of actual district-specific curriculum guidelines.
We've had a few meetings with the teacher some about this and others not. She agrees DD1 is very bright but continues to says she is not performing. When I explain that she is underperforming, likely due to boredom and if given a more challenging assignment she would likely perform, she doesn't do it.
Are you 100% positive that the reason she's underperforming is *only* boredom? Or could it be related to her ADHD (or possibly something else)? It's really easy to automatically assume it's boredom (and it could be boredom) - but I also have found with my 2e kids that sometimes there are other things going on in the classroom that are at the root of underperformance. If the teacher brings up the issue of underperforming, I would ask for details and consider what she has to say - when does it happen, is it all the time, does it happen with one specific type of work or in one type of setting in the classroom etc. See if it might relate to her ADHD - if it does, then it's possible all you need is to give your dd a chance to have time in the classroom with whatever accommodations are in place for her ADHD for a few months and her performance will turn around.
If it doesn't seem to be related to anything other than lack of challenge, then it would be helpful to go into the meeting with a specific plan for how to challenge your dd in the classroom - something that doesn't involve extra work for the teacher. Yes, it's absolutely the teacher's responsibility to do this on her own, but she might be too challenged just with managing the class that she has and might not have ideas or hours in the day to figure out a separate plan for your dd. The meeting you are having is a place to start brainstorming ideas, but it's going to be really helpful if you come prepared with a few ideas.
Re what to actually advocate for - that's very specific to your dd. What do you think she *wants* more of in terms of challenge, where is she happy with what she has now in the classroom, and what types of differentiation do you think will be more easily acceptable to your school staff?
Good luck with your meeting - and remember, it's a process, not jus one meeting. Hopefully you'll come out of the meeting with a plan, but it's just the beginning plan, not something set in stone. See how it works and tweak it as it goes.
Best wishes,
polarbear
