It was interesting when our eldest graduated HS, there were
congratulations offered and my son commented on that saying, "I don't know what I'm being congratulated on, it's not as if graduating from HS is a major accomplishment." For him as for I'm sure most if not all who frequent this forum, I'm sure you can understand that thought pattern, I talked with him about that and we came to the conclusion that while he might not consider it a grand achievement, HS graduation for him was stepping stone, an occasion worthy to be marked as it signaled a new beginning rather than what he considered a major accomplishment.
I'm uncertain about class rings, as you said, that might be regional. Our eldest DS got one, I don't think he's worn it after the first week he had it. Pretty pricey one week item. On the other hand, the gold chain and Crucifix we gave him the day before he left for college, he wears on a daily basis. I guess what I'm saying here is as her parent I think something meaningful to her from her family might be of greater importance and meaning.
We talked to our eldest DS about a graduation party. We kept it simple and fairly brief (about 4 hrs.) understanding that he was likely more interested in getting out and about with his friends than sitting at his own party and discussing life with his elders! Still though, it helped to explain to him that while it was indeed HIS graduation party, that gathering was also an opportunity for all those that helped to raise him along the way to wish him well in his future endeavors, that the party wasn't simply about his accomplishment (because he didn't see it as one) but a chance for those who care deeply about him to see him off before college.
Graduation pictures, well, why not do both? If she's 14 now and likely 17-19 when graduating with an undergraduate degree, photos for both occasions? There isn't anything saying you have to do a HUGE package this time, simply select one or perhaps two favorite shots this time.
Is there anything else you should think about? Yeah, there is, your child is going off to college soon and they're leaving a system they've grown up in for their entire life thus far. There is going to be a LOT of uncertainty and insecurity in her life this summer. The best thing you can do is a great deal f talking with her this summer, perhaps even taking a long weekend vacation with just the two of you (which is also a great graduation gift)
