Hi Melessa,
Choosing schools, and continuing to advocate to be sure that whatever school you ultimately choose works for your child is not (usually) easy. Most schools aren't really ideal for any child, and you have to do your best to research all options and make the best choice you can. So with that said, I can't really say I have any advice, because all school situations are so different!
I do have a few thoughts for you though - the hour long drive to school - is it an hour both ways? Even one way is a long commute for a kid, and it can take a huge chunk of time away from family time. We've had longer commutes and shorter commutes, and the shorter commute has been so much better all around. I just find my kids have more energy at the end of their day, we have time to get through homework before dinner, we have time to relax and have fun together as a family, and we're not running around tired from driving all the time.
Re the Montessori which is advertising "mentoring" in the 3rd year of each multi-grade split - I'm skeptical of that for two reasons. First, sure, mentoring is great but only if it can take place in addition to appropriate academic challenge - you don't want it replacing challenge, and if it's advertised up-front, I'd wonder about that a little bit. So ask how they challenge the upper level students in each split. The second reason - whether or not a child enjoys mentoring depends a lot on the child's personality. My youngest dd was set in place as a mentor one year in early elementary when she was the upper grade level in a 2-grade combined classroom, and she was working quickly through her work. Whenever she finished something, the teacher had her help another student as opposed to giving my dd more challenging work. She absolutely *hated* this situation and complained about it a lot - she wanted to be doing actual academic work of her own, not helping other kids all the time... plus the academic work she was receiving was too easy, hence the reason she was available to mentor. My ds has also had teachers try to nudge him into a different type of mentoring - digging deeper into topics his class is studying, and then sharing his extended knowledge with his peers in class. He also totally resists and has no interest in doing that - it just makes him feel different. He's a-ok with sharing what everyone learns together in class, but doesn't want to be put under any kind of spotlight that says "He's the smart kid so he's going to dazzle us with his brilliance". He wants the teachers to be teachers, and he wants to be the student.
I'd also give your current school's gifted pullouts a chance (because I think what you're saying is he'll eventually get into them but it's just been a slow process going through the motions - is that what's up?).
Good luck thinking everything through -
polarbear
