I would not agree to an ADHD diagnosis with confirmation from so many different sources that ADHD is not an issue (and most likely not present per the neuropsych eval). Instead, I'd seek accommodations (504 plan) with a medical diagnosis for the fine motor delay. I'd also try to find out if you have a local parents' advocate group that you can call for advice (there are groups in all 50 states, funded by the Federal Govt., and in our state we were able to get advice while advocating for IEP/504 plans at no charge through them. I found them quite helpful for calling up with simple questions, and also found they often had answers to my questions that I'd never considered or knew about. For instance, when my dysgraphic ds was in 3rd grade and I was not able to get him any accommodations at all in his classroom, I found out while consulting with our parent advocate that in our school district, starting in 5th grade, any student who can type faster than they can write, is allowed to type their classwork and homework. Simple as that. It's a policy I never would have thought to look for, and it's a policy that I suspect most of the *teachers* don't know about, but if my ds' school had been so bullheaded about accommodations (excuse me, I mean if my ds' school had not been so overwhelming cooperative as they eventually sorta became lol) I could have relied on that policy to insist that he be allowed to type.
Did the neuropsych diagnose your ds' fine motor delay? Did he/she suspect it is remediable (if that's a word lol). Did he/she recommend OT? If it's something that will improve with OT, I'd get your ds into private OT (I'm assuming he doesn't qualify for school OT, but even if he did, I think with this I'd go private just so you can be sure he gets what he needs and in a timely manner). If fine motor is what's impacting handwriting, and it can be successfully remediated, you have an avenue to guarantee that handwriting isn't going to hold him back when he enters middle school (unless you don't do anything to resolve the challenge).
FWIW, there are two potential issues that may come up if you *do* decide to go for the ADHD diagnosis - first, having the diagnoses doesnt necessarily guarantee accommodations will be granted, and if you *do* have accommodations agreed to by the school in theory, that doesn't always work out to mean they are given in practice. Hopefully your ds' school will be a school that will work with your ds and give him what he needs in terms of accommodations, but if the school seems to be overly agreeable to ADHD accommodations but unwilling to accommodate for a fine motor delay, I'd be suspect that they are going to be easy to work with even with a diagnosis.
Second thing - my ds had an ADHD diagnosis through his neuropsych at 8 years old which was later determined to not be accurate. Once that diagnosis was in his school records, it popped up again later, after we'd already determined through private testing and a second neuropsych eval (by the same neuropsych) that he does not have ADHD. Guess where it "popped up"? In an IEP eligibility review meeting, written on his school paperwork, with a question from the staff - is he medicated? We had to go through yet another ped ADHD eval to show that he did not have ADHD simply to get the question off the table at future team meetings at school re was he medicated for ADHD - because his school staff was quick to assign all issues to ADHD as the cause (which it wasn't) and then to bring up the question - is he medicated. So that's just something to be aware of - hopefully wouldn't happen, but you might face that question.
It's also been our experience that in advocating for our ds, it's been helpful to have the official "non-diagnosis" that our ds is not ADHD - because he needs accommodations for other reasons. Teachers in our school district are very used to seeing students in their classroom who have ADHD diagnoses and some symptoms and behaviors overlap. So the teachers we've known tend to jump to the conclusion that something that looks like ADHD in the classroom is ADHD - and perhaps the accommodation or remediation for whatever the root cause is and ADHD might be the same, but otoh, sometimes not (more often not for our ds). So - it was best for our ds to not be id'd as ADHD not only because he doesn't have ADHD but also because it helped us avoid accommodations and assumptions from teachers who didn't bother to understand what was really going on.
Hope that makes sense!
BTW, my ds has a diagnosis of Developmental Coordination Disorder. I am going to guess that if your ds has had a neuropsych eval and didn't have that diagnosis come up, he most likely doesn't have it - it's a diagnosis in the DSM-IV. That doesn't mean he doesn't have fine motor delays, just means they most likely aren't a subset of DCD.
Best wishes,
polarbear
