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I don't know ljoy, from my armchair on the other side of the world moomin's DD always sounded fairly in control of her out of controlness (if that makes any sense at all) - once she concluded it was the only control she could have of a wildly unsuitable placement where the adults were not as smart as her AND had no idea how to manage her.... Why would she continue to invest in an unsuitable environment? Would you expect a yr 5-8 student to invest in K? Or start making their own entertainment? Or switch off and become a pixie?