I don't think there's a good way to shift from hellicoptering to non-hellicoptering, though.
I went from basically what was hellicoptering to college (hard shift from complete to really no actual support) and ended up being quite non-functional for five years.
I am not sure helicoptering is as dangerous as everyone thinks it is. I wasn't helicoptered at all... Quite the opposite, actually, bordering on parental disconnect. AND I was also pretty non-functional for a few years... LOL. I got my act together eventually.
I can't worry about whether or not I am helicopter parent per articles and books (why are there a string constantly telling us that we are doing it all wrong all the time?) I just try to the best I can day by day, situation by situation. I have been blatantly and directly accused of being a helicopter mom and a negligent one... both within the same year. Apparently, I can't please anyone so I just do the best I can day to day, and try to adjust accordingly. I have to admit since I had parents who weren't at all involved in a supportive way in most of my life - I'd rather be a little more on the helicopter side of the spectrum to be honest... But I have learned no matter what you do and how you do it someone will be there with an article that tells you you are doing it wrong. I try to be connected with my kids... There have been times when DS8 has said to me "Don't make a big fuss mom - I'll figure something out." Sometimes I listen and sometimes I ned up intervening anyhow but I just try to be connected to my kid and make my decisions based on our discussions.
