I feel like at this stage I have to helicopter to some extent due to food allergies. Other kids running around the playground with a bag of peanuts makes me rather anxious to say the least. I try to remind myself that that is the only reason I am doing it, and it is good to be reminded to stay out of his friend conflicts and other such stuff, as the food-police need for helicoptering can over-extend into other areas quite easily.
Yes, yes, a THOUSAND times yes. We still have to intervene because DD is frequently not skeptical/cynical/assertive enough to manage the behavior of those around her as aggressively as she actually NEEDS to in order to... um... stay alive, I guess. So yes, I do go to fairly obnoxious lengths there, sometimes. I wish with all my heart that I didn't need to, of course (in spite of what others must sometimes think of me).
Other people are constantly surprised that we
don't "helicopter" in other ways-- often not even to the extent that my DD's
academic peers are over-parented, quite honestly.
I trust that my DD is able to solve most of her own problems... and I
never dictate solutions TO her. (oy) I may help her brainstorm when she is 'stuck' somehow and has not been making progress on her own... or when it is very clearly an asynchrony/maturity issue and she simply doesn't have the ability (developmentally) to tackle a particular problem.
Luckily for me, my DD wouldn't tolerate genuine helicopter parenting for a second. I mean, I guess that is lucky. Sometimes it doesn't feel that way, frankly.
But it does mean that I very seldom have to tell her "NO. YOU need to figure this out," because mostly she is already doing that and wants me to respect her choices. Which I do.
