You guys make excellent points about making his home environment almost too good. I had never considered that (which now that you've said it the possibility is entirely obvious). 16 years of coping with DH has assuredly shaped my view of normal and I have a million coping tools that just feel like normal now. I'm not throwing out the idea of ADHD it just somehow seems too easy when the presentation is so different -- oh, the kid is having trouble, the Dad has ADHD so the answer is obvious. The fine motor could indeed cause the issue we're seeing, which is why I'm questioning. And, FWIW, I do sometimes question DH's diagnosis since meds don't seem to help for any length of time, but his presentation is much more the classic ADHD list of symptoms and so it's easier for me to see the argument than with DS who is so different.
Really, really excellent points and wisdom -- so much more helpful than anyone else I've talked to yet. Many, many thanks.
