Susan S,
Welcome. I also left my son in a public school that just wasn't working for him for 3 years, trying my best to be an appropriate advocate for him - because I believed that I "just couldn't afford" homeschooling or private school. ((I will say that one of those years was wonderful, 3rd grade, where the classroom teacher totally "got him" - the rest of the time was very very bad. My son also wasn't willing to "come up with ways to challenge himself" - he is more interested in being an "in class anthropologist." ((Seeing what he could stir up and get away with.)) We had meeting after meething trying to understand what was "wrong" with him. The School Adults had many suggestions. We spend much money following them up. We have no answers. My son is also now 10. We switched him to a private school, he got his grade skip, and although he has come a long long way, he still isn't up to the school's standards about "getting homework in on time" "bringing one's materials" and to make matters worse, he had to leave behind good friends of 5 years standing. He misses seeing his "real" friends every day - and has to deal with their feelings of abandonment, but still, he says it's 100x better than last year. On the other hand going from 90seconds of homework per hight to 90 to 120 minutes of homework a night hasn't been fun for anyone.
So those are my credentials - here's my advice:
1) Tell us what books you are reading.
2) Try to figure out what the test scores "mean" - in terms of where in the range of giftedness you son fits.
3) Try to get a handle on where you son it at academically - build a resume of what kinds of work he can do. Work with him at home and see what academic level of work suits him in all the subject areas. If possible borrow some homework from kids who are 1, 2, 3 and 4 years ahead of him. Get lexile levels for the books he is reading at home.
4) figure out if you son is a candidate for grade skipping - if he's highly gifted he may need a two year jump. Read the Iowa Acceleration Guide Manual for more details.
5) Find a way for the gifted teacher of the 3rd grade program to meet your child and for you to sit in and watch what they are doing in the classroom. Many of us have found that 3 hours a week or less of a "pull-out" program is basically useless. Remember that Gifted programs tend to be aimed toward the majority of gifted children. The majority is clumped at the bottom of whatever range they are picking from. This is terrific if your child fits - can be a big dissapointment/waste of time if your child doesn't.
6) Join your state gifted association. Try to talk to someone from your state.
7) For negotiation tips read - Getting to Yes, but remember, you are not really "negotiating" anything with a public school - you are actually begging them to do their job properly. This should sound like a bad idea, because it is.
8) Get to know some real live homescoolers in your area. Keep at it until you meet someone you like. Remember what my mom said about blind dates? You may not like him, but perhaps you'll like his friends.
9)About acceleration v. in-class enrichment: During 4th grade my son recieved wonderful in-class enrichment. Our teacher made wild efforts and they saved his skin during 4th grade. In a way it was unfortunate, because it made a perfectly dreadful situation almost tolerable. We lost much valuable time in the process. We had to see for ourselves that a kid with Davidson type scores couldn't be accomidated "on the fly" in an age-mate classroom if he himself didn't have the drive to "make the most" of his opportunities. I don't feel that my child should be denied an appropriate fair education because he's more interested in following his own lead than in "doing more dumb school work." The public school dissagreed. In their minds a good grade skip candidate is an eager beaver who wants to go above and beyond in every subject, also organized, and neat, and what my son would call "a goody-two-shoes."
You can't leave a child in a hostile school environment for 3 years and expect them to want to be a goody-two-shoes. If they did, they would have the opposite problem of "dumbing themselves down" to please the teacher.
So - my advice: 1) Private message me with your son's IQ scores, listed in percentiles if possible or compare them to the Davidson Young Scholar site's criteria. If they are in that range, give up hope about "in class enrichment" with age-mates.
2)Start collecting that portfolio about what your district expects of children of various grades and what your child can do. In some way the test score are besides the point if you child is doing 4th grade math, then they are doing 4th grade math.
3) Look around at the private school alternatives, including faith based.
Best Wishes - I'm sorry this is such a long post, but it's such a long process!
Trinity
