Polarbear, you are correct as far as the legalities. I have just always look at the big picture to make sure that I win the war rather than each battle. I often tolerate minor IEP violations to preserve a cooperative relationship, which has served me well and frankly provided my older DS more than required by his IEP at times. However, my younger DS is a different case. Even though he clearly has some issues, I am not sure that they rise to the level of a diangosis. Even if it does, he likely would not qualify for an IEP. Any accomodation would more likely fall under a 504. However, an IEP meeting would have to be convened to decide on a formal assessment.
I am being careful here also because the school has been very cooperative in accelerating DS twice in math and his present arrangement is not cheap and I still need to make sure that similar (equally not cheap) arrangements are in place for next year.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply. It's the reason why I post here. Sometimes I need to write things out to figure out what I should do.
