I am for telling the children exactly what's going on and I will share my story as an explanation.
I hated school and had no friends; I never found out why or had any help from teachers or parents. It was not until in my late 30s that I happened upon a special book- "Miss-diagnosis and dual-diagnosis of Gifted and Talented Children and Adults." As I read the book I said, "That's me and that's me and that's me!!!"
That was the first time I had an explanation for my troubles!!
I still do not know what my IQ score is though I know I fit the highly gifted category in terms of school experiences. Now I have two children: a girl age 8 and a boy age 6. Because we homeschooled for two years the school put my 8 year-old in 2nd which was a good idea because she needed time to adjust to school versus home. But now the school staff are not doing what I think is best for her which is advancing her to third.
I have open and frank discussions with her and this morning she told me she still has some trouble but things have been better, overall, for her than they were for me and I think it is directly from our discussions and the help I am able to provide her. She is very similar to me, though different in some ways, so in many situations I can help her a lot. I never had help; either others had no experiences similar enough to relate to me or I felt I understood my problem better and had tried every idea they could offer, with little success.
Besides, gifted kids are unusually insightful and they know when things are not right. Why not talk frankly with them as soon as they show they can understand the conversation- no matter what age-range that happens to fall in. For one thing, it will give them a tool to help them deal with difficulties as they arise, which is a given. At least they will understand why they are different and possibly accept those facts instead of continually trying and failing to fit in.
