Hi everyone. I'm relatively new here, having posted just once in the general discussion about our issues.
Currently, I'm suspecting that my 9yo son may be 2e. We are taking him for a full psych eval next week, but I'm trying to learn as much as I can ahead of time.
He is very bright, having tested into honors math and language arts. For the most part, he is enthusiastic and inquisitive.
However, for that last year or so, he has been having anger issues at school and at home, and his outbursts are becoming more frequent and severe. Right now, he really has no friends, claims that other kids make fun of him all the time and think that he's "and idiot." His teachers claim that other kids are actually trying to help him at school but his responses are too extreme. He is not violent, but has has threatened other kids, and often responds as if he were a 4-5 year old: yelling, stomping, mean faces, etc.
Lately he has resisted doing homework and participating in certain subjects in school. He freaked out over an art project, and got an F on it because he refused to do it. He still enjoys math and science, but claims that other subjects are a waste of time. He has been a straight-A student from day one, but I think this is going to end soon. He also has trouble concentrating, and takes forever getting some assignments done, such as writing.
His teachers do pile on the homework, and it often takes him 1-2 hours per night to get it done. He has indicated that all of the homework, and being around the other kids has him "stressed out" and he is begging us to home-school him. But, he can be very stubborn, and does not work well with either me or my wife. He tends to turn every disagreement into an argument (yes, we're at fault too....) and can be single minded. Thus, I'm concerned that home schooling would not solve any problems and would set him back even further socially.
I've read a lot about symptoms of various disorders. I know I'm not a professional and too emotionally involved to be objective, but the medical description of ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) fits him pretty well. I seriously doubt that he is autistic or has Aspergers, but he might be above average on the spectrum. He shows some signs of ADD, but not all of them.
The hardest thing is getting him to open up and talk. He hates talking about his feelings or what happens to him at school, and often lies. If we try to reason with him, more often than not he just shuts down or goes into defiant mode.
Has anybody experience anything similar? Any advice?
I suspect that he is driven by anxieties and possibly depressed. I really want to help him but he freaks out at the suggestion of getting help. We tried therapy once before but he refused to participate. I know there a great little kid in there, but I don't know how to get through to him...
