DeeDee,
Does your son have age peers who are truly his friends? Does he seem lonely if he doesn't have friends? My DS does not want to have friends and it doesn't bother him that he doesn't talk to anyone during lunch and recess. That's one of the reasons why I feel like it's probably not a big loss if he ends up being surrounded by kids who are much older than him who probably will not consider him a friend either. DS will probably not be able to fit in wherever he goes, so maybe grade acceleration for academic purposes only is not so bad of a idea? Of course this could all change as he catches up socially. you said, "I don't want his academic acceleration ("I'm smarter than other people and years ahead in every subject") to be a foundation of his identity." I hope you don't take this the wrong way; I'm just really curious and maybe challenge your thinking a little bit to get a discussion going. Don't get defensive, OK? So, I deal with the same thought as you, but now I'm leaning more toward thinking I don't want DS to feel inferior socially and physically all the time (which could happen if I keep trying to throw him together with kids who are his age but intellectually different) and I certainly don't want that to be the foundation of his identity. Even if he ends up having to deal with tempering his arrogance later on, I'd rather have him feel confident knowing that at least he is good at something. I want his potential friends to look at him and think, "yeah, that kid is younger than I am and he is certainly no athlete, but boy, he is smart and we can talk about really cool stuff because he can follow the logic of the conversation and he knows a ton about things I'm interested in." What do you think?
