I really do feel your pain. I have been homeschooling since the beginning, and now my kids are 10 and eight. Those early years were hard!
I agree with what others have said, that it gets so much better. I was thinking about the things that I did that helped me get through those earlier years. I think there are a few things. It probably boils down to something like structure, and a certain amount of time for me to socialize and be alone.
When things turned the corner for me in terms of starting to get better was when I started going to the local gym every day. My kids could stay in the childcare room while I exercised for 30 minutes. It felt great to exercise of course, but the best part of it was probably that I got to be in my own head for that time every day. I could think my own thoughts and not be interrupted! I also discovered that just seeing the same faces every day of the week put me in a better mood. I didn't have close relationships with any of the people that I saw at the gym, but just saying hello to a few friendly faces always lifted my mood. I think that it can be very socially isolating to be with small kids all day. And it is kind of paradoxical, because of course there's this forced extroversion where you're constantly having to talk. It's a weird and difficult combination.
Going to the gym also got us out of the house nice and early. My kids would wake at 5:30 or 6:00, and it was hard to wait until child are opened at 8, but once we were out of the house, our day could get started. We would often leave from the gym to go on an outing.
The more time I spent with other moms and their kids, the better it was as well. I got a lot of validation and we could always commiserate with each other.
In terms of school stuff and academics, when my daughter was about five, we started doing more "school on the computer." In the beginning, we were using time4learning. She would do that for a few minutes four or five times a week. It wasn't great, but at the time, it was good enough. I felt that she was getting what she needed academically, and yet I didn't have to be that involved. Since she could mostly work on her own on the computer, it didn't matter that I needed to be chasing my tornado toddler around. School on the computer has become important to us since. And I have learned that there are many wonderful resources out there. It still is a great way that my kids can be really challenged and engaged academically, without me having to be there every single second.
I guess the last suggestion I have is that I always found it easier when we were out of the house. Of course, it's a Catch-22, because when you have little kids, it is really hard to leave the house! But when we finally made it to the zoo, or the library, or the museum, we usually had fun. That is when I enjoyed it the most.
