The way that I see my son stand out is that he doesn't seem to want to be in the middle of a bunch of kids. He has always been a little crowd adverse. So things like recess bother him, and he will just stand out of the group. But then, he feels left out and not included.
The other thing is that he has a low threshold for aggravation. It gets better ever year. This school is probably worse in a way because it is a little less structured than public school. He is more of a rule follower.
He loves to read. So, he always has a book in his hand. He really wants to find someone to sit and talk about books with him.
A low threshhold for aggravation is not unusual in younger gifted kids (or older ones, though hopefully they have better skills for handling it-- and as you said, that's improving).
The thing is, a lot of kids-- particularly bright ones-- have a hard time realizing that if they want to have friends, they may have to compromise. The fact is that if a kid is gifted, or particularly, if a kid is exceptionally or profoundly gifted, there are just not going to be a ton of intellectual peers lining up to be his BFF. He may not find someone in a small school who wants to spend recess discussing the finer points of Cornelia Funke instead of playing kickball. It might be necessary to put himself out there a bit, and cultivate friendships from the ground up, or to "settle" on a friend who may be a B student, but who shares his deep and abiding love of manga.
I don't mean to sound as if I'm picking on him-- I'm not-- but I've had this discussion at least four times in the last week, including with my own daughter. I seriously don't think the "you have to be a friend to make friends" thing occurs to kids.
