I would first ask them for where they have assessed your son. You think his reading is at the 2nd-3rd ish level. Do they see the same, and if not, where is his weakness? Same with the math. For our school, they don't assess far above level in math, so they would only be able to tell us if he was on target for K or not. Pushing for more data, however, makes the issue clearer.
With data in hand, then my approach has been to ask questions, all with the attitude that the teachers and administrators are the educational experts. I'm highly differential. I will very rarely ask the school for anything specific. Some are more pointed than others. Instead, some questions I ask are:
"What are your goals for my child this year in math?" "Will this plan allow my child to make a year's growth in math this year?" "Is there a way to balance the needs of the handwriting and spelling skills with the math skills such that handwriting doesn't prevent him from learning math?"
