So our DS9, school spelling bee champion, got caught cheating on a spelling test. He was afraid he might miss one. He saw it on TV (Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, goodbye to you) and apparently thought it was a good idea.
Aside from the pink slip from school, we're starting with an apology letter to his teacher and his principal, and that's where we're stuck.
He doesn't understand why he needs to write an apology letter. He seems to grasp that it was a bad thing he did, but when I explain that he needs to apologize because he let them (and us) down, disappointed them, he says that their disappointment is their own fault because their expectations are never going to come true. Every time he tries hard at something, he fails (not true anywhere but inside his head). My disappointment is my fault because I made him be born the way he is.
I'm banging my head on the wall here. I cannot have discussions like this with this child. I have to simply walk away, and then he says I don't care.
I think I have one of those 9 year old psychopaths.
I should add, we're also grounding him in various other ways, after the letter.
I understand where he is coming from, with being afraid he'd miss something -- I am a total perfectionist freak myself. And I know that the worst cheating is the smartest kids who are afraid of missing something, not the kids who are just hoping to pass. But I just can't get it through his head that we're not upset if he misses something. He does not get in trouble over grades, except for the Unsatisfactory that he got for not turning in homework. I have told him that if he goes all the way through school without ever missing anything on tests, all that means is that he's not learning at his level, but he just doesn't get it. And my head hurts.
