Wyldkat, have you had the help of a parent advocate when trying to get an IEP or 504 plan in place at school? If not, they can be extremely helpful in that they are familiar with your specific state law and how to navigate your local schools. There are advocates who are available free of charge in some areas - we found our local resource groups through the yellow pages link at
www.wrightslaw.org - and it was *extremely* helpful to me to have an advocate to ask questions of re school district policy, getting advice re what I seeking reasonable, and for advice on how to wordsmith requests to the school + how to respond to walls put up by the school.
I am certain that in our school district you would at least have a health plan in place to cover your ds' needs for diaper changes during the day.
I'm also curious if your ds has been evaluated privately or if the evaluations you've had are limited to school district evaluations - if they have been through the school district, that may be the reason you've been told that he doesn't qualify for a diagnosis, and a private evaluation might be much more helpful.
Plus I'll second the suggestion for a medical look at what's up too.
Best wishes,
polarbear
