The biggest issue in my family is that it's not encouraged to rise above the others or move beyond the pack. DD couldn't help it when she was little but when she started to get past her older cousins as far as age of reading, etc. they started to "attack" her social skills and the fact that she's not in the enrichment pull-out, she's not "likeable" to teachers like the others. The cousins are all the "optimally gifted" types, quite bright but not over-the-top so everyone can get excited about their school placement and awards, etc. but not to a point where they stand too far out of the pack. The younger cousins will be the same, you can tell from the development already.
The most hurtful thing family has said was eluding to or stating that my DD is most likely to become mentally ill because "brains that work that fast usually develop problems".
I had one uncle who was Mr. IQ 160+ but he chose to concentrate on his athletic abilities for likeableness and fitting in. It worked out okay for him but intellectually he was bored every single day of his life and restless when he got more into adulthood.
But the whole gang only gets together once per year and DD has alot of influence outside family with various activities and her father. His side comes from a place where hardly anyone goes to college anyway, never mind girls, but DD's their little darling so no matter what she does they applaud! As long as she doesn't get too cheeky... And DD loves being outside and animals and that's highly valued where they come from, so she fits in that way.
I think if you don't see these people too often and your kids have lots of other encouragement for their educational goals and mentors it's easy to just overlook. I just keep my mouth shut, which I've been doing with them my whole life anyway so it's not that hard, though I do let it upset me (not in their presence) sometimes and get-togethers are very tense among the adults.
