Irishmaggie, a couple of things:
--I agree with Aculady. Asperger's is a distinct possibility. The literalness, the inability to be flexible about rules, the tendency to escalate... it's very familiar. Gifted kids with AS are often missed because they can be very verbal, and even sociable (my DS is quite extroverted, actually, just lacks the skills to be socially successful). If you can revisit this and get testing through a qualified doctor, I'd say do it.
--Does your DS have an IEP? Because if not, you should start the process to get one. (See the book From Emotions to Advocacy, or the Wrightslaw website). You may be able to get additional help for him with social skills, and even possibly support at recess. He needs to learn these skills.
DeeDee
