Thank you all so much. I feel really reassured to hear from you all... so much less alone. You're in America (mostly) so of coarse there are big differences - but Kikandkyle and ColinsMum explained really well. Thanks for the mensa link! I'll have a look. (SATS are normal test exams, like prep for the "real" ones...) I've also hunted down a couple of Uk-based forums about parenting, but I think this one is the best do far, despite the UK-US differences...
Firstly, SiaSL, about what you said to do with my daughter not being changed - I really apreciated this. I have got so used to thinking of DD12 as different even from me, and not really as a child anymore even though she's my baby, it was just good to hear this. Really keyed in with what I'm feeling and anxious about.
I've been thinking about home education, too - I have a friend who home eds her three children (5,6 and 9) but they are not as sociable as DD12 used to be (she has given up on her friendships with classmates lately, only keeping in touch with her old Montessori friends, who're all at other schools than her)and I really don't think I could offer DD12 enough. I don't know if this is rational, but I've been getting the feeling more and more that I can't keep up with DD12's "hunger" - that I don't know enough to teach her anything... My Maths is poor and, although I liked Science, I neither shared her passion nore can I grasp those concepts the way she does... also, we have a 1 and 1/4 year old baby, Cryallnight. She's v. different to DD12 but also takes a lot of time and attenton - however, we have noticed the little one isn't developing the same way DD12 did.. slower, taking her time, vocabulary still growing but not yet extensive... They love each other, I know, but perhaps being in her 2nd year at secondary school and having a new baby sister is a strain on DD12. I will try to find other solutions, do, but I know that home educating would be an answer. I have to talk with DD12 about what she wants!
I have looked up all your links - some v.helpful (absolutely love the look of Hoagies!) and I looked up CAHMS. We live in Hounslow now! (we used to live in Chelsea) Thank you very much, ColinsMum, for the link - however, right now I am not convinced that DD12 needs a "mental health service." I think that she is unhappy in her environment and that the hints of depression I am picking up on are from this. I don't want to enter into speaking with psycologists just yet.
I'm going to talk with DD12's head teacher again soon, and then I think i shall know a little more what my plan of action should be. I'm going to continue posting here, if that's OK with everybody... not too confusing from the UK and a mum who's in a tizzy!
Seriously, I already feel like you've helped DD12 and me. Thank you.
