The food allergy thing adds this whole other level of neurosis to my already helicopter type parenting. I'm not proud. LOL.
I think that you need to give yourself a break. My DS7 has severe food allergies to 4 of the big 8. For him, he must ingest the food to trigger severe reactions. His contact reactions usually mean more severe eczema until we figure out the source, i.e. the soap that they used on him 50 times a day in preschool even though we had provided his own soap -- grr.
Unless they have someone in their life who has been affected by serious food related conditions, i.e. severe allergies, celiac, diabetes, many people just don't get it. It's not malicious, it's just not something that they have ever needed to consider. Don't beat yourself up for being his advocate. You're doing what you need to do.
Once you get past kindergarten, food isn't as integral to the curriculum. It sounds like you are willing to homeschool. Maybe you could hs this year and try traditional school next year. Also, you might want to shop for schools that have policies that suit your child. Our school doesn't allow birthday treats and only allows outside food at school parties. School policies states that party planners must take food allergies into consideration when they plan events. As another poster said, some people are more willing to work with you than others. We always just bring our own food. You also may want to think about a lunch setup that would allow your child to sit with other kids. Depending upon you situation, you also may want to get a 504 plan in place to address food allergies.
http://www.foodallergy.org/page/504-plan
